there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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