I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize