Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
