one might say we're banned from that church
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
