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I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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