just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize