Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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