I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
