On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
