We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize