I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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