The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize