When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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