where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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