Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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