you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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