you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
