took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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