did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
