So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
