WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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