before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
