i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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