I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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