This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
