question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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