He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
