If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
