Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
