Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
