i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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