Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
