loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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