Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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