Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
