i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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