we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
