arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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