Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize