Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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