I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
