Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
