I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
