wat bout pragnant strippers??
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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