Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
