You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
