I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
