I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
