i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
