batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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