no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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