Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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