I need help removing her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
