I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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