I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
