Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
