just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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