i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
