Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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