we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
